all great movie 22 jump street quotes compilation

22 jump street quotes.all great movie quotes from this comedy film: 22 jump street

Directors: Phil Lord, Christopher Miller
Stars: Channing Tatum, Jonah Hill, Ice Cube


It's 2014, asshole. You can't fucking use 'faggot'. 'Gay' is okay, 'homosexual', maybe, And if you know the person, you might be able to call them 'queer' if they have a great sense of humor… but I don't.

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Captain Dickson: Fuck a 21 Jump Street & *FUCK* a Korean Jesus!
Jenko: [pointing across the room to the statue of Jesus] Captain, Korean Jesus is right there!
Captain Dickson: That's Vietnamese Jesus now. See this is a Vietnamese church, you racist sacrilegious sack of shit!
[admiring Vietnamese Jesus]
Captain Dickson: Yeah, Vietnamese Jesus is just drippin' swag-goo!

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What are you doing? I'm cutting glass.

It's a laser pointer. It can't cut glass.

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I'm a solo artist now, like Beyonce. I used to have the other destiny's children but now I'm just a lone superstar. Just a light-skinned princess with a dream and an amazing voice

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Why every time you speak, I wanna throw the fuck up.

22 jump street quotes

Oh, my god. Did you just get shot? Like, right after I fuck king said that?

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"Sighs" I just wanna get in bed and watch Friends all day.

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Ma'am, tell your husband to drop the gun. You tell him to be smart. Be smart.

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“Slam poetry. Yelling. Angry. Waving my hands a lot. Specific point of view on things. Cynthia. Cyn-thi-a. Jesus died for our Cynthia’s. Jesus cried. Runaway bride. Julia Roberts. Julia rob-hurts. Cynthia. Mmmmm Cynthia, you’re dead. You are dead. Be boop beep you’re dead.”

—     Schmidt, 22 Jump Street


[from trailer]
Captain Dickson: We Jump Street, and we 'bout to jump in yo ass.
Jenko: Mmmm-hmmm.
Schmidt: Right in the crack.


Captain Dicksons wife: So how did you and Doug meet?
Maya: We met at a party and then he stalked me to my dorm room.
Captain Dickson: Stalked you? And then what happened?
Maya: Then we hung out and watched a movie.
Maya: [pause for a second] Actually we watched it a couple times…
Captain Dickson: This is bullshit! Waiter! Can a black man get some water!
Schmidt: Someone get the man some water. He's black, he's been through a lot!


Captain Dickson: [see’s Schmidt dating his daughter maya] How do you know this person?
Maya: Dad, this is Doug, he's a guy I'm dating.
Captain Dickson: What the fuck?

[from trailer]
Schmidt: Yo Sleepy, wus up homie!, everyone saying that Sleepy he like the Mexican wolverine
Scarface: Why you not talking?
Jenko: My name is Jeff


Jenko: [to bandit] I'm your best ni… I'm your worst nightmare!


[last lines]
Captain Dickson: Hey, you two stop dicking around!
Captain Dickson: Congratulations you managed to un-fuck a situation you originally already fucked up!
Schmidt: Thanks.
Captain Dickson: [talking to Schimdt] I wish I could have you un-fuck my daughter but I'll let that be in the bank.
Captain Dickson: Now you two, for your next mission you two sons of bitches going to medical school!
Jenko: What?


Schmidt: [after Mr. Walters mimicked him mockingly] I don't sound like that.
Mr. Walters: Eric! Close your eyes and tell me who's talking!
[makes a whining baby sound]
Eric Molson: [eyes closed] Ugh, Schmidt bein' a little bitch.


Schmidt: [about Jenko] He has one class in Human Sexuality, and now he's Harvey Milk.


Schmidt: He's black! He's been through a lot!


Deputy Chief Hardy: The Koreans bought the church back, so we had to move across the street… to 22 Jump Street.

Schmidt: Say something cool when you throw it!
Jenko: One, two, three!
[throws the grenade]
Jenko: Something cool!


Jenko: I'm really really glad you're back, Schmidt.
Schmidt: What are you talking about? What contract dispute? I have been here the whole time.
Captain Dickson: Hey, shut the fuck up! How about a flight academy?


Schmidt: [after Mr.Walters mocks him] I don't sound like that.
Mr. Walters: Eric! Close your eyes and tell me who's talking!
Eric Molson: [eyes closed] Ugh Schmidt bein' a little bitch.


Mr. Walters: Hey, guess what. I'm Eric's bitch!
Eric Molson: No you're not.
Mr. Walters: Yes I am! You own this ass!


Jenko: I'm your bes- I'm your worst nightmare.


Schmidt: I just wanna say that it was bizarre not to share the fact that your daughter went to MC State…
Captain Dickson: I think it's bizarre that I haven't cut your motherfuckin' nuts off.
Jenko: [to Schmidt] What if, Captain gets to punch you in the face, one time? Really, really, REALLY hard?
Captain Dickson: Nah, I've got something WAY better than that.
[cut to Captain Dickson shooting a stun gun at Schmidt’s testicles]


Jenko: Fuck you, doves!


Deputy Chief Hardy: Do the same thing as last time. Everyone's happy.


[from trailer]
Captain Dickson: This time foreign exchange students!
Schmidt: Awesome!
Jenko: Cool!
Captain Dickson: In Russia!
Jenko: What?
Schmidt: Dasvidaniya
Jenko: Vodka Soda


Mercedes: This is so boring. No one's getting shot.
Mercedes: [one of her bodyguards gets shot] Oh my God! Did you just get shot? Like, right after I fucking said that?


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